FLINTSTONES KIDS RADIO SPOT REWRITE

This was written more out of being pissed off than anything else. So nu?

After many years of loyal fanship, Dr. Demento's 25th Anniversary Show was finally airing on the radio, and all my friend Troy and I were hearing on the show were teasers (a two-minute-or-less excerpt from the selected songs). The good Doctor's four-hour show on KMET FM94.7 from 1800-2200 Sunday in the 1970s had been trimmed back to a two-hour show in the mid-1990s on 103.7 , after being off the air for a little while in between. You'd think the hosting radio station would have allowed for a major cultural icon's silver anniversary show, but NOOOOOOOoooooo...

The real dynamite cap up the backside to this whole extremely disappointing show were the commercial spots, which were coming up about every 15 minutes (about ten minutes of teasers, interviews, and chat, and another five minutes of commercials). The first commercial would always be the Flintstones Kids Vitamins commercial, and ALWAYS THE SAME ONE.

Troy and I turned off the radio in disgust before the show had even ended (with Teasers from the Funniest Five).

I wrote this a few days later.

SONG TAG:
(kids' chorus)
The Flintstones Kids!

RUDE VOICE OVER:
NOT!!!

CUTE LITTLE MOUSE FART KID (CLMFK):
Dad, can I pull down my pants and poop on the sidewalk?

DIM BULB DAD (DBD):
Why?

CLMFK:
I just gotta do something about my constipation.

DBD:
Well, lemme have a probe up there. You know, if you ate more good 
food more regularly instead of that candy and crap all the time, and 
took a Flintstone Chewable Vitamin every day, you might be more regular.

CLMFK:
Gee, Dad, you really think so?

DBD:
Who knows? Hey, here's a nice chunk...

VOICE OVER:
Flintstone Chewable Vitamins with Phenopthalein. All the vitamins 
your child needs daily, with that extra kick of spontaneous regularity...

SOUND FX:
(Something similar to the "MONTY PYTHON'S PREVIOUS ALBUM"'s 
"Embarrassment Clinic" bowel movement SFX).

CLMFK:
Oops. Sorry, Dad.

DBD:
(chuckling)
That's OK, at least you're unclogged now.

SONG TAG:
(kids' chorus)
This commercial gets old...

SONG TAG:
(solo girl)
...and bo-oh-ring...